Laugh, Write, Type

Several years ago, a few ladies volunteered at the church to come in one day a week and help fold the Sunday programs. On this particular fall Tuesday afternoon they sat chatting and folding when the pastor rushed into the room and commanded, “Stop! Immediately!”

He then stomped out of the room. The ladies were shocked.

 His usual demeanor was smiling, relaxed, and friendly. They looked at each other in wonder. What just happened? About that time the Church Secretary entered the room, doubled over in laughter.

“What’s going on?”

 “Oh goodness,” she gasped for breath, “Read the announcements section of the church program for Sunday. Read it out loud.” She collapsed into a chair laughing. “Oh, I can hardly get my breath.”

 One of the ladies opened the brochure and read:

 “Announcements:

“Ladies, when you look into your panties tonight, see what you can bring to church tomorrow.”

 They all collapsed into fits of laughter. The correct writing was to have been “pantries”, not “panties.”

 The moral of the story: Be careful what you type and edit, edit, edit. Below are some more typos, gleaned off the internet from different churches for your enjoyment.

 “The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.”

 “The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’”

 “Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.”

“Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.”

“Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.”

“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”

“Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.”

“At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.”

“Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.”

“Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.”

“Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.”

“The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.”

“Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM — prayer and medication to follow.”

“The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.”

“This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.”

Hope you enjoyed these, but don’t forget to read what you type and edit, edit, edit, before you put it out there for all to see.

3 thoughts on “Laugh, Write, Type

  1. Too funny! Yes, we all need to proof and re-proof. Also, time gives us greater insight into not only our content, but our bloopers as well. Thank you for sharing.

    Cat 🙂

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